Aug. 15 "In as much as ye have done it unto the least of these. . ."

The first week we arrived in Lafayette we traveled out to see Mary.  Arriving at her home, we noticed there were signs all across the front door.  "Don't be stalking through the front window.  If the curtains are open you can ringing the doorbell.  Ringing the doorbell twice and I am coming to the door."  It didn't make much sense, but we noticed the curtains were opened so we rang the doorbell and waited.

The sign also noted that the person who was "being lived there" was hearing impaired.  The previous senior couple asked us to go and visit Mary who was single, in her 50's and had many challenges.  She had inheirited  furniture and many other things from her parents when they passed away.  This was evident when Mary came to the door with a smile and invited us in.  The living room was stuffed with furniture with a monstrous desk right in the middle of it all. 

But the thing we noted first was the odor that hit us as we entered into the ranch style two bedroom home.  We knew there were four cats living in the home before we came.  What we didn't expect was the heavy odor of amonia that stung our eyes and noses.  But as we settled down to visit with her, we grew used to the odor. 

Mary was in her 50's and communicated by reading our lips.  Sometimes she didn't understand and she would make a funny reply that didn't make sense, but overall we communicated well.  Her speech was slurred somewhat and not enuciated, but if we listened long enough we could figure out what she was trying to tell us.  As we finished our visit, we ask Mary what we could do to help her that day.  She replied that she needed her cat litter changed.  Ellen was a little overwhelmed at everything, so needed some time to think about it.  We replied that we would be back in a couple of days and change the litter. 

We learned later that it was because of the last senior couple whose place that we took that we were treated well.  They did a lot of things to serve her.  Yard work.  Cat litter.  Taking her to church.  Taking care of her cats.  Food.  There was no end.  They had tried to get the Relief Society sisters involved,  but she had prevented the Relief Society sisters from coming at some point because she didn't understand what they were doing and felt overwhelmed.  She filed a restraining order against them and the senior couple were the only ones that could get in to see her.  I think she may have been afraid they were taking things from her inheritance, which is important to her. 


The Senior couple from Arizona picked Mary up and took her with them to church and just did whatever she needed.  They were a very sweet couple.  But now it was us,  and we needed to learn our role.  A few days later,   (after Ellen got used to the idea), we came back into the home and emptied three large containers of cat poop.  Ellen carried the containers into the garage from the three rooms, Leon fished out the poop, and Ellen returned the containers.   She had a big smile on her face when we left and thanked us while informing us of her visits to the Doctors.

Mary had a tumor growing in her uterus that was pretty big and she looked a little like she was pregnant.  They didn't know if it was malignant or not.   She was in quite a bit of pain and couldn't bend over to pick up the litter containers.  They had scheduled the surgery for the third week in August..  We made arrangements to go back and help her again, but Kate, (her closest living relative who was her cousin,) called us a couple of days later  to tell her that she had taken her to the ER the night before,   because she was in so much pain.

Looking  frail in her hospital bed, Mary was pale and quiet when we visited her the next day.  Kate  had called us earlier and mentioned that Mary needed someone to go to her home  and take care of the cats.  After visiting with the Relief Society President and finding out about the restraining order, etc., we decided that it was not a good idea.  We didn't want to be in the middle of a law suit because Mary couldn't find something in her home later.  So we went to the hospital to both see her and inform her that we could not take a key to her home to do that.

She was excited to see us and give us her house key.  Mary was disappointed when we told her that we could not take the key to her home because of the legal responsibility.  But she accepted our decision.  Kate ask us if her husband would come and open the house if we would empty the cat litter and take care of the cats.  (It's about a 20 minute drive for us.) 

Ellen replied, "Well how about he takes care of the cats while he is there.?"  Kate thought for a minute and replied, "But he's not a cat man."  The whole thing just struck Ellen funny because we haven't enjoyed it either, but it has to be done.  We laughed about it on the way home.

Being in the hospital on morphine for a few days, Mary was not improving.  They finally were able to move up her surgery date and transport her to indianapolis for the surgery.  The surgery was very invasive.  They had to make a large incision in her stomach because the tumor was "the size of a beach ball."  It was wrapped around her small intestine and the colon.  It was a stage four uterine cancer and now Mary is in intensive care.  I don't think her prognosis is  good at this point,  but they are still checking lymph nodes and so forth. 

What a sad life Mary has had.  It must be really hard to live life without sound.  She has never married and lives alone with just Kate and a couple of other extended relatives.  I wonder if she has ever found joy in her life.  The last senior couple were able to take her to church for the first time in a long time.   We will continue to serve her as we can while we are here.  I'm sure it will involve some "cat" work too.  But that is okay.  Mary must be a very special spirit to go through her life in this way. 


Kate told Ellen yesterday that Mary was willing to let a couple of the cats go.  She is very sensitive and wants it to be Mary's idea.  The cats are her family, I guess.  We are planning on going to Carmel to see her this weekend and hope that she is doing well.  I keep thinking of the scripture, "In as much as you have done it unto the least of these, my brethern, ye have done it unto me."  We will do all that we can.